Songfic: Garcia: Details in the Fabric
by jungleanimal
Summary: another songfic, this time Garcia's point of view on her role in the BAU. Based on the song 'Details in the Fabric' by Jason Mraz.


**Continuing my songfics! This one's Garcia (but you probably already knew that....) **

**Anyways, enjoy!**

_Calm down, deep breaths,_

_And get yourself dressed_

_Instead of running around,_

_Pulling on your threads and _

_Breaking yourself up_

I wake up, panting. Again. Just another nightmare, I have to remind myself. Just another dream. It's not real, but it may as well be. Because just as reality happens during the day, these nightmares come every single night. These nightmares _are_ my night; they are just part of my life.

So I have to remind myself to breath slowly. I have to remind myself to keep holding on to the good instead of letting go of the bad. I have to remember; I cannot forget.

_If it's a broken part, replace it._

_If it's a broken arm, then brace it._

_If it's a broken heart, then face it._

I am the healer. I have to remind everybody about all the happy things. I am the bright yellow sun on the black background of unhappiness. When everything goes wrong, I don't fix it, but I sure as hell make it easier. When people are sad, I remind them how to be happy. I remind them that there are things that are good in the world; that we only see the bad. I remind them that we have the worst end of it. We just pulled the short straw.

_And hold your own,_

_Know your name._

_And go your own way._

_And everything will be fine._

I surround myself with happiness. Bright colors, cheery figures, hearts and stars. Because while making sure everybody else is happy—well, I can't do it unless I am as well. Even though it is against the rules, nobody cares. Because _they_ recruited _me_, not the other way around. They need me, so I make it my own. And it helps me. It helps me do what I do, it helps me figure things out on my own. I am my own person, and that is the one thing this job cannot take away from me.

_Hang on, help is on the way._

_Stay strong, I'm doing everything._

_Are the details in the fabric,_

_Are the things that make you panic,_

_Are your thoughts results of static cling?_

It's the small things that keep me here while driving me away at the same time. All those small details that nobody pays attention to—while they see body language and fear, I see the lost and desperate look in the victims' eyes. I see what they want, and no matter how hard I try, I see how they can't get it. I can't help them get it. I try my best to make sure that they stay cheerful and optimistic, but what do I know? I don't know what they went through. Hell, I can't even stand to _think_ about it. So while my team—my family—pays attention and tries to solve the big picture, I'm stuck noticing and worrying about all the details they missed.

_Are the things that make you blow?_

_Hell, no reason, go on and scream,_

_If you're shocked it's just the fault_

_Of faulty manufacturing._

The successes. That's why I stay; that's why we all do. Because when we win, when we save somebody, we feel on top of the world. But what happens on those days that we are just a second too late? What happens on those cases when I didn't search the evidence fast enough?

What happens when we mess up?

Well, we are human, so we do mess up. And when that happens, we are still human, so we want to cry. We want to break down and bawl right then and there. But we can't. Because we are human, and humans make mistakes. So I come back, with my happy colors and cheery figures, and distract them.

_Everything will be fine._

_Everything, in no time at all._

_Hearts will hold._

So here I am again, standing in the bullpen with the rest of the team. Letting Reid explain to me something I won't understand in a million years. Letting Morgan sexually "harass" me, and letting Emily tease us about it. Letting JJ boast about Henry and Will, and letting Rossi and Hotch have some time alone. Here I am again, holding on to the happiness while it lasts. Here I am again, absorbing the sunshine so I can radiate it later, when everybody else needs it.

Here I am again, wishing every moment could be like this.

And here I will be again, putting just the right amount of happiness in their lives.

**Hmm..not one of my strongest, but I still like it :)**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I was very upset I didn't get ANY reviews on my Morgan songfic :'(**


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